"What are they, really? I mean, no...
"What are they, really? I mean, no bullshit
Because - I wouldn't say this to very many people
- they remind me of the way life was inside my
head when I wasn't taking my pills
"They're just make-believe," I said
"I know about shadows," he said"You just want to
be careful they don't grow teeth
Then, sometimes when you reach for the lightswitch
to make them go away, you discover the
power's out
"But you're better now
705
"Yes," he said"Pam had a lot to do with that
Can I tell you something about her you might
already know?"
"Sure," I said, only hoping he wasn't going to
share the fact that she sometimes laughed way down
in her throat when she came
"She has great insight d&g knockoffs but little kindness," Tom
said"It's a weirdly cruel mixbut not necessarily because I
thought he was wrong
"She gave me a brisk talking-to about taking care
of myself not so long ago, and it hit homeAnd from the look of her, you might be in
for a talking-to yourself, EdgarI think I might
find your friend Kamen and engage him in a bit of
a discourse
The girls and Ric were staring up at Wireman Looks
West and chattering animatedlyPam, however, was
positioned about halfway down the line of Girl and
Ship paintings, which hung like movie posters, and
she looked disturbedNot angry, exactly, just
disturbedShe beckoned me over, and
once I was there, she didn't waste time
706
"Is the louis vuitton bags little girl in these pictures Ilse?" She
pointed up at No"I thought at first this one
with the red hair was supposed to be the doll Dr
Kamen gave you after your accident, but Ilse had a
tic-tac-toe dress like that when she was littleI
bought it at RompersAnd this one-" Now she
pointed at No"I swear this is the dress she
just had to have to start first grade in - the one
she was wearing when she broke her damn arm that
night after the stock car races!"
Well, there you wereI remembered the broken arm
as having come after church, but that was only a
minor misstep in the grand dance of memoryThere
were more important thingsOne was that Pam was
in a unique position to see gucci bag silver through most of the
smoke and mirrors that critics like to call art -
at least in my case she wasIn that way, and
probably in a great many others, she was still my
wifeIt seemed that in the end, only time could
issue a divorce decreeAnd that the decree would
be partial at best
I turned her toward meWe were being watched by a
great many people, and I suppose to them it looked
like an embraceI got one
707
glimpse of her wide, startled eyes, and then I was
whispering in her ear
"Yes, the girl in the rowboat is IlseI never
meant her to be there, because I never meant
anythingI never even knew I was going to paint
these pictures until I started doing themAnd
because she's back-to, omega automatic watches no one else is ever going
to know unless you or I tell themHer eyes were still wide, her
lips parted as if to receive a kiss"What did
Ilse say?"
"The oddest thing She took me by the sleeve and
pulled me down to NoIn both of
these, Rowboat Girl was wearing the green dress
with straps that crossed over her bare back"She
said you must be reading her mind, because she
ordered a dress like that from Newport News just
this spring
She looked back at the picturesI stood silently
beside her and let her look
"I don't like these, EdgarThey're not like the
others, and I don't like them
I thought of Tim Riley saying, Your ex has great
insight but little kindness
708
Pam lowered her gucci bags for ladies voi